Imagine reading a motivational quote on Instagram, being genuinely inspired by it, and altering your thinking forever as a result. What I’m about to tell you is even more embarrassing than that.
Meghan Markle has changed my bloody life. Ugh. And not just with one of her smug new age word salad preachy my truth nonsenses, but one of her smug new age word salad preachy my truth nonsenses on a podcast widely deemed “the most insufferable conversation ever.”
I have a complicated relationship with Meghan, as many of us do. Loved her for bringing happiness to the Prince burned into our memories as a broken 12 year old behind his mother’s coffin. Watched through fingers as it all went spectacularly tits up. Rolled eyes as the couple turned into hypocritical therapy speak bores, lecturing people on what they should do while often doing the opposite. (Hopping on a private jet to a climate change summit, anyone?)
Purely because this podcast, the Jamie Kern Lima Show, was so widely derided, I happened to see clips of it online. Lazy to use this example but it’s too perfect to resist – in the dictionary under the word sycophantic there should be a photo of the host, simpering. She almost drools whenever Meghan speaks.
"One of the things with parenting, you watch as you're building their confidence and their self-esteem, a word that I use a lot with them is 'yet,'” Meghan began. “You know, and how to reframe things for a kid when they're like 'I can't do it.' I can't do it... yet. 'No, I'm not good enough'... 'I'm not good enough, yet.'"
She continued, "And the more that you put into practice these ideas of like put 'yet' at the end of nearly every sentence, and you feel like there's still hope and a promise that you can do it. But when I type that to my children before I go to bed, guess what, like, I'm teaching that to them or I'm reinforcing that but I'm also reinforcing it for myself.”
(*Note: when she says she “types” it to her kids – she writes them an e mail every night, about what happened that day, funny things they said, amazing insights she provided etc. When they’re old enough she plans to give them the passwords so they can read them all. Because that’s what every 18 year old desperately wants of course – hundreds of millions of nauseating emails from their mum.)
Anyway, she carried on, with examples.
“Like, I don't know... yet."
The host – naturally – picked it up and ran with it, agreeing, “My business hasn't gotten traction... yet,” “No one's picked up my book proposal... yet,” “I haven't found my soulmate...yet.” Everything is yet.”
Meghan nodded sagely, agreeing with the person agreeing with her. “The power of yet,” she said, Dalai Lama-ily.
Obviously all the comments were along the lines of this podcast hasn’t been banned… yet / the royal family haven't stripped them of their titles… yet. But – ugh – I can confirm, annoyingly, that this yet bullshit is properly effective. I thought something really negative about my career this week, and then for no reason this popped into my brain and I added the word… yet, and I honestly felt better. I know, gross right? Not even yet, immediately. But it works. Try it. Sorry.
Completely stopping giving yourself a hard time in your head, talking to yourself nastily, can be a tall order, especially if you’re very used to doing it. Adding one word to the end of a sentence, less so.
See you next week… yet. Ok it doesn’t work for everything. Yet. Omg it does!
I do admire you being nuanced on Megan. It's quite possible to be conflicted on the people, even the Good snd the Ghastly.
And I've always marvelled that the internal monologue - which should be one's helpful in-house adviser - so often behaves more like a sarcastic understudy who's furious not to have got the part.
I’m not ok with you liking Megan BUT also, I agree x